If I had an Australian $2 coin for every time I have read any of the statements below on dating sites or heard them voiced, I think I would have enough money to run this blog professionally for 12 months.
1. Searching for Mr Right
2. Trying to find “The One”
3. Marriage is sacred
4. Not into players
5. No cheaters wanted
6. FWB’s & Fuck buddies – look elsewhere
And they go on.
I can only quote women’s comments as read and heard as they are the gender that I seek.
There’s a few things going on here and it’s more complex than my few paragraphs but generally speaking, it’s pretty clear that in 2016, men and women still want different things from relationships.
Secondly, those issues aren’t being addressed in this country largely or if they are it’s around the fringes and it remains to be seen whether the heart of even some of these issues will see penetration that leads to widespread debate and the requisite change?
And thirdly, whilst I don’t justify it one iota, I think I understand albeit only a little why men get so bloody frustrated with women and their attitudes to sex.
All this said I still standby what I have read and understand to be a certain amount of control over female sexuality by men for a very long time but also I regularly see patterns where women have taken advantage of their genetic sexual advantage and it has become the norm.
Both genders share the blame for the current state of sexuality in Australia currently and it certainly makes for an interesting thought bubble as to where we will end up.
Anyway, that’s enough from me. Officially putting the feet up for a while now and maybe come back with renewed vigor but then maybe not also.
Ever since the poly group folded, I have pushed my posts into areas that I much rather would have posted after rigorous discussion but them’s the breaks in a country that is largely sexually conservative and which is still I contend, uncomfortable talking about sex in a mature manner.
Anyway, found this via @ChrisRyanPhD: Sex worker’s view of marriage.
Greatest respect for this man and his thought process. Sex At Dawn by Cacilda & Chris is a great read. Highly recommended.
I agree mostly with the article and I genuinely wonder what is the true percentage of marriages that wallow in this state?
Surely one can present the evidence that is the above, in that prostitution is still very profitable and secondly, one should look at the gender ratios (and profit margins) of dating sites which are strongly populated with men vice women.
Additionally I have said a few times now I strongly feel that marriage has its place for some, but certainly not all.
Furthermore I strongly believe it is high time we all took our collective heads out of the sand and acknowledged the truths that so many are so willing to discuss.
1. That it is an archaic and unnecessary human requirement in a world that has moved on from the original intent of marriage in most parts of the world.
2. That humans need companionship mostly and this can be met via friendships rather than marriage.
3. And if we are ever to see some genuine sexual balance between genders in this world, – which is this articles root cause I would contend, we need less marriages and more friendships with benefits and/or polyamorous arrangements for those with enough sense & compassion to negotiate poly.
Anyway, please have a read of the article and if you are game, post a comment.
Love this song…
@ChrisRyanPhD: Iceland: A culture moving beyond marriage @CNNTravel http://cnn.it/21IPytI
Shared via TweetCaster
Now this is sensible. Everyone gets to choose and negotiate what they want at that point in their life.
In Australia however, the happy ever after principle as instilled via our parents and popular culture still exists as the norm and when combined with bugger all relationship/sexual communication leads largely to our large divorce rate.
We are slowly changing so I will hang onto that thread of hope that we will legislate same-sex marriage in due course opening the gate to the many possibilities beyond.
Till then peeps,
L O V E.
What’s in a name?
You call it “emotional non-monogamy”, I call it “polyamory”…what’evs!
Worth a read anyway as we are all different and no-one should be boxed into a particular belief, but in saying that I guess there are many who like to belong to something and will defend it with or without their blinkers at 90 degrees.
It’s all very odd but I genuinely hope we can move on in this country, from the belief and associated bigotry that marriage is the only option for two people who have a connection and desire to build upon it.
Love like there’s no tomorrow.
Marriage Equality. A subject that has crossed into the political plaything arena…unfortunately!
I didn’t read this when it was originally proposed, but then I am no fan of the PUP (Palmer United Party).
It’s an interesting article on an interesting subject that might actually get an answer now that T.A. (Tony Abbott) and his right wing views are largely out of the way.
I certainly hope this country can find a solution to marriage equality and cross one issue of the long “list of ignorance”, we have yet to open the blinkers on, debate accordingly and legislate.
I will keep you updated as we go along.
Check out this amazing TEDTalk:
Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved
Lots of interesting thought-juice in this talk to fill the squishy parts of your brain to overflowing 🙂
She is a very interesting lady and I highly recommend that you strap on the headphones, lay back in that comfy chair and get that brain moving.
Till next time peeps,
Love hard but sensibly…Marcel Proust style!
“If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. ”
Michel De Montaigne
How very true.
Couldn’t agree more.
I respect marriage but it isn’t the be all and end all – for all – as its been marketed over the years.
This is where polyamory will fill a void in time I hope.
Australian’s need better information and that is why I think we will see a political party formed on this issue sooner or later.
Maybe the Sex Party will make it a core issue in time too but it’s going to need risks taken to get over the brick wall largely built by those as described in the article who maintain the mindset of “a vow is a vow” etc, that currently is an inhibitor to knowledge.
Anyway tis all very interesting.
Love hard peeps
Comes via Love Times Infinity. Please indulge oneself.
Dear (Possible) Future Husband – http://wp.me/p22X19-aG
This lady is the awesome. She gets it and has done for a lot longer than myself.
The Ethical Slut and her blog are to blame for the path I now tread.
Frankly, I couldn’t be happier.
Shannon, if I am ever in the U.S. it shall be top shelf until you are satiated. Thank you.
Till then though,
love like there’s no tomorrow.
Just listened to another episode of Sex Out Loud, this time with Tristan having as her guest Australia and Melbourne’s Cyndi Darnell – sex therapist and educator.
Another great episode and one I can’t recommend enough as the show centre’s on the Australian experience for the most part.
Please have a listen if you have time (great for a commute to/from work) to get you thinking or wash the day away.
Check it out here for your particular platform;
As always wonderful humans,
Love as many as you can, while you can.