Ending 2017…way points.

SSM got up…finally. The conservatives in the LNP coalition, a few Catholic arch bishop’s, dear Lyle Shelton with his merry bunch of Christians and last but not least that wonderful NOT Murdoch rag in The Australian (that speaks for a third of us at best…go figure?), gave the NO case a good crack but their argument was piss-poor and in the end weight of numbers (and sense) spoke volumes.

#metoo – men got to feel the rage of numerous years of power misuse across a lot of professions. Unfortunately, in the finest traditions of the shhh….don’t talk about sex brain imprint that functions with aplomb in the overwhelming majority of us, we won’t get anywhere fast with on sexual harassment in Australian society anytime soon.

I expect 2018 to be just as bad if not worse.

Polyamory lost its momentum in Victoria with PolyVIC shutting down. Sad that it never got the support it deserves but we are pretty well institutionalised here in Australia through 200+ years of marriage, affairs & divorce and unfortunately are happy to accept the happy times, arguments and other collateral damage as the norm.

#bloodysad

I read another magnificent book called ” What Love Is, And What It Could Be” by Carrie Jenkins. A must read if the subject of human relationships and sexuality intrigues you.

And lastly, and to end on a happy note, I am pulling my weight in the gender wars by employing a 50/50 split so big-up’s to moi!

Happy New Year y’all.

https://youtu.beXDeiovnCv1o

Advertisements

Experts: Sex and porn addiction probably aren’t real mental disorders | SBS Sexuality

http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/sexuality/agenda/article/2016/12/07/experts-sex-and-porn-addiction-probably-arent-real-mental-disorders

This is a good step forward for human sexuality. Please read and discuss widely in the hope that via weight of numbers, those who seek to profit from “yet another” purported disease in the long line of supposed human frailties get ran out of town for good.

Dig

The Slutski

Truths from the sexual front line.

@kittystryker: Bree Olson says some harsh truths about what it’s like leaving the porn industry for a civilian job http://bit.ly/1UNeCiX via @dailydot

More colateral damage from an industry that seeks firstly to exploit the male sex drive generally speaking.  But in doing so it exploits women, Bree being one of the many who have either willingly left or are the detritus spat from the rear end of said industry.

How did conservatism engulf human sexuality?  We seriously need some balance with sex.  

Yet another thing to ponder in this crazy life of which I have but a few answers.

Maybe PJ has some thoughts…

Ending 2016, where I’m at….

Frankly still all over the shop but I have clarity on the points below.

1. Marriage (traditional) should not be the default relationship proposition in 2016.

2. We need action on equality. It’s not good enough to take the position that it will happen in its own good time. Women are being killed every week (60 so far) and kids are growing up to further create problems for society at large as the end result of this and other carnage.

3. We need more conversation regards sex. Currently men barely talk about it and less so between women & men unless there is mutual interest. No one should be forced into having sex but something has to give in our overly conservative society.

4. Same-Sex marriage must happen. The sooner the better.

5. And I would love to see the end of prostitution. Its always been the stopgap measure for a society that is unwilling to confront it’s sexual side and frankly it’s got to with the exception of those such as the mentally disabled and elderly who no longer have the means to seek out sexual pleasure.

And that will about do me for tonight. I intend to keep typing blogs in the short term anyway as interesting topics come to hand in the hope that mine and maybe one or two of the subjects in your conversational headspace are bolstered by what I write & link.

I present, the lovely Meshell Ndegecello.

Enjoy

AES

More Than Two.

Wow…this is just what I needed right now.  Thank you karma.

I have been struggling of late as the more astute of you have possibly read between the lines.

This book has renewed my hope and has bought me back to the day I read The Ethical Slut and considered it the most sensible thing I had read on relationships in 38 years on the planet. 

If there is one thing this book has confirmed for me, is that yes, I am a Polyamorous person who values trust, respect, compassion and isn’t afraid of disgussing needs.

Whyou do I love poly?  Because I love people who value community and who can see that our current relationship default was certainly not meant for everyone although it is definitely marketed that way. 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has walked the roads and seen the carnage of broken relationships that litter it.

There is a better way for those who cherish joy and happiness.  It won’t be easy but life was never meant to be.

Live and love like there’s no tomorrow.

Shane

Watch “Monogamish: The new rules of marriage | Jessica O’Reilly | TEDxVancouver” on YouTube

Tighten up this word in your vocabulary via the TED talk above.  The lady speaks the truth as far as I am concerned. 

This just strengthens my resolve on what I feel should be a fact of life, “that human relationships were never meant to be happy ever after”.  It’s always been about the luck of the draw and what each other is willing to put in.

Monogamish, Polyamorous & same-sex relationships are here to stay folks and that dear reader can only be good for humanity.
Love like there be no tomorrow

S

Paedophillia – more ignorance than understanding.

The people who volunteer to spend time with paedophiles http://ab.co/2aRkY04 – via @abcnews

Yes, you read correctly.  

I fully support organisation’s like this who seek to build bridges between those who yes, have done wrong, but are marginalised and shut out by those in society who choose not to open their blinkers and see these people through a whole lens vice the part lenses of perception and opinion.

Please have a read and try to “walk a mile in their shoes” so you are better armed the next time this subject comes up in discussion.

Love y’all

Shane

Players, The One & Mr Right…WTF?

If I had an Australian $2 coin for every time I have read any of the statements below on dating sites or heard them voiced, I think I would have enough money to run this blog professionally for 12 months.

1.  Searching for Mr Right
2.  Trying to find “The One”
3.  Marriage is sacred
4.  Not into players
5.  No cheaters wanted
6.  FWB’s & Fuck buddies – look elsewhere

And they go on.
I can only quote women’s comments as read and heard as they are the gender that I seek.

There’s a few things going on here and it’s more complex than my few paragraphs but generally speaking, it’s pretty clear that in 2016, men and women still want different things from relationships.

Secondly, those issues aren’t being addressed in this country largely or if they are it’s around the fringes and it remains to be seen whether the heart of even some of these issues will see penetration that leads to widespread debate and the requisite change?

And thirdly, whilst I don’t justify it one iota, I think I understand albeit only a little why men get so bloody frustrated with women and their attitudes to sex.

All this said I still standby what I have read and understand to be a certain amount of control over female sexuality by men for a very long time but also I regularly see patterns where women have taken advantage of their genetic sexual advantage and it has become the norm.

Both genders share the blame for the current state of sexuality in Australia currently and it certainly makes for an interesting thought bubble as to where we will end up.

Anyway, that’s enough from me. Officially putting the feet up for a while now and maybe come back with renewed vigor but then maybe not also.

Cheers
Shane

Thoughts on Marriage & Prostitution.

Ever since the poly group folded, I have pushed my posts into areas that I much rather would have posted after rigorous discussion but them’s the breaks in a country that is largely sexually conservative and which is still I contend, uncomfortable talking about sex in a mature manner.

Anyway, found this via @ChrisRyanPhD: Sex worker’s view of marriage.
http://ow.ly/4nbFFH

Greatest respect for this man and his thought process. Sex At Dawn by Cacilda & Chris is a great read. Highly recommended.

I agree mostly with the article and I genuinely wonder what is the true percentage of marriages that wallow in this state?

Surely one can present the evidence that is the above, in that prostitution is still very profitable and secondly, one should look at the gender ratios (and profit margins) of dating sites which are strongly populated with men vice women.

Additionally I have said a few times now I strongly feel that marriage has its place for some, but certainly not all.
Furthermore I strongly believe it is high time we all took our collective heads out of the sand and acknowledged the truths that so many are so willing to discuss.

1. That it is an archaic and unnecessary human requirement in a world that has moved on from the original intent of marriage in most parts of the world.

2. That humans need companionship mostly and this can be met via friendships rather than marriage.

3. And if we are ever to see some genuine sexual balance between genders in this world, – which is this articles root cause I would contend, we need less marriages and more friendships with benefits and/or polyamorous arrangements for those with enough sense & compassion to negotiate poly.

Anyway, please have a read of the article and if you are game, post a comment.

Love this song…
Shane