Experts: Sex and porn addiction probably aren’t real mental disorders | SBS Sexuality

http://www.sbs.com.au/topics/sexuality/agenda/article/2016/12/07/experts-sex-and-porn-addiction-probably-arent-real-mental-disorders

This is a good step forward for human sexuality.  Please read and discuss widely in the hope that via weight of numbers those who seek to profit from “yet another” purported disease in the long line of supposed human frailties get ran out of town for good.

Dig

The Slut

Truths from the sexual front line.

@kittystryker: Bree Olson says some harsh truths about what it’s like leaving the porn industry for a civilian job http://bit.ly/1UNeCiX via @dailydot

More colateral damage from an industry that seeks firstly to exploit the male sex drive generally speaking.  But in doing so it exploits women, Bree being one of the many who have either willingly left or are the detritus spat from the rear end of said industry.

How did conservatism engulf human sexuality?  We seriously need some balance with sex.  

Yet another thing to ponder in this crazy life of which I have but a few answers.

Maybe PJ has some thoughts…

Ending 2016, where I’m at….

Frankly still all over the shop but I have clarity on the points below.

1.  Marriage (traditional) should not be the default relationship proposition in 2016.

2.  We need action on equality.  It’s not good enough to take the position that it will happen in its own good time.  Women are being killed every week (60 so far) and kids are growing up to further create problems  for society at large as the end result of this and other carnage.

3.  We need more conversation regards sex.  Currently men barely talk about it and less so between women & men unless there is mutual interest.  No one should be forced into having sex but something has to give in our overly conservative society.

4.  Same-Sex marriage must happen.  The sooner the better.

5.  And I would love to see the end of prostitution.  Its always been the stopgap measure for a society that is unwilling to confront it’s sexual side and frankly it’s got to with the exception of those such as the mentally disabled and elderly who no longer have the means to seek out sexual pleasure.

And that will about do me for tonight.  I intend to keep typing blogs in the short term anyway as interesting topics come to hand in the hope that mine and maybe one or two of the subjects in your conversational headspace are bolstered by what I write & link.

I present, the lovely Meshell Ndegecello.  

Enjoy.

More Than Two.

Wow…this is just what I needed right now.  Thank you karma.

I have been struggling of late as the more astute of you have possibly read between the lines.

This book has renewed my hope and has bought me back to the day I read The Ethical Slut and considered it the most sensible thing I had read on relationships in 38 years on the planet. 

If there is one thing this book has confirmed for me, is that yes, I am a Polyamorous person who values trust, respect, compassion and isn’t afraid of disgussing needs.

Whyou do I love poly?  Because I love people who value community and who can see that our current relationship default was certainly not meant for everyone although it is definitely marketed that way. 

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has walked the roads and seen the carnage of broken relationships that litter it.

There is a better way for those who cherish joy and happiness.  It won’t be easy but life was never meant to be.

Live and love like there’s no tomorrow.

Shane

Watch “Monogamish: The new rules of marriage | Jessica O’Reilly | TEDxVancouver” on YouTube

Tighten up this word in your vocabulary via the TED talk above.  The lady speaks the truth as far as I am concerned. 

This just strengthens my resolve on what I feel should be a fact of life, “that human relationships were never meant to be happy ever after”.  It’s always been about the luck of the draw and what each other is willing to put in.

Monogamish, Polyamorous & same-sex relationships are here to stay folks and that dear reader can only be good for humanity.
Love like there be no tomorrow

S

Sexual Harassment & putting the cart before the horse (update 18/10/16).

This is an update to the shitty post I put up previous.  Hopefully closer to what I want to say on this subject this time around.

The headline reads…’Deeply disturbing’ responses to uni sexual harassment survey http://abc.net.au/news/7802588 – via @abcnews

Yup, we have come a ways on this subject but as this article and the 150 “Deeply disturbing” comments that were revealed in the survey will show (I havent read them but I gather there is some pretty ordinary commentary on/about women) is that we have merely only scratched the surface of this subject, that being sexual harassment.

Why is that?

There are many, many reasons and I don’t have all day nor a mind to analyze the many vagaries of this debate.  One major factor that I will argue desires further debate but which very few are willing to partake in is that which I consider the elephant in the room – The Male Sex Drive.

It’s pretty clear to me that both sexes know generally speaking the bare minimum about each others bodies.  Add to this the fact that we seemingly both want and don’t want this issue hanging around.

Karen Middleton in The Saturday  Paper today wrote about unwanted sexual attention and whilst I wholehearted agree and sympathize with hers and others experiences I don’t see anyone really addressing the root cause of those comments and lewd behaviours.

At the base level, before culture, education, peer-group pressure and anything else you want to throw into the mix is discussed can we please start talking about the starter motor that is continually on for most men and as I have come to understand it and intermittent for most women.

Therein lies the answer to this issue.  Solve that and you solve sexual harassment.  Or we can keep dancing around it like we have done for the last 20 odd years and the problems will continue to rear their collective ugly heads.

We need to address the elephant.  For too long the male sex drive has been able to run rampage essentially borderless across the globe.  That sit has to stop, but in order to do that there needs to be a vehicle to take over the default  target for the large majority of men in women who need space to work out what they want and how they are going to get it vice the prevailing attitude of needing a man to get ahead in life. 

Technology will hopefully play that part for men (insert “sex” here) which I hope will be the circuit breaker equality needs to prosper.  

You can make blanket policy, wear pink ribbons and throw the book at offenders but until such time as we genuinely are willing to walk a few miles in each others shoes we will as a species get nowhere.

Mark my words.

S

Paedophillia – more ignorance than understanding.

The people who volunteer to spend time with paedophiles http://ab.co/2aRkY04 – via @abcnews

Yes, you read correctly.  

I fully support organisation’s like this who seek to build bridges between those who yes, have done wrong, but are marginalised and shut out by those in society who choose not to open their blinkers and see these people through a whole lens vice the part lenses of perception and opinion.

Please have a read and try to “walk a mile in their shoes” so you are better armed the next time this subject comes up in discussion.

Love y’all

Shane

Players, The One & Mr Right…WTF?

If I had an Australian $2 coin for every time I have read any of the statements below on dating sites or heard them voiced, I think I would have enough money to run this blog professionally for 12 months.

1.  Searching for Mr Right
2.  Trying to find “The One”
3.  Marriage is sacred
4.  Not into players
5.  No cheaters wanted
6.  FWB’s & Fuck buddies – look elsewhere

And they go on.
I can only quote women’s comments as read and heard as they are the gender that I seek.

There’s a few things going on here and it’s more complex than my few paragraphs but generally speaking, it’s pretty clear that in 2016, men and women still want different things from relationships.

Secondly, those issues aren’t being addressed in this country largely or if they are it’s around the fringes and it remains to be seen whether the heart of even some of these issues will see penetration that leads to widespread debate and the requisite change?

And thirdly, whilst I don’t justify it one iota, I think I understand albeit only a little why men get so bloody frustrated with women and their attitudes to sex.

All this said I still standby what I have read and understand to be a certain amount of control over female sexuality by men for a very long time but also I regularly see patterns where women have taken advantage of their genetic sexual advantage and it has become the norm.

Both genders share the blame for the current state of sexuality in Australia currently and it certainly makes for an interesting thought bubble as to where we will end up.

Anyway, that’s enough from me. Officially putting the feet up for a while now and maybe come back with renewed vigor but then maybe not also.

Cheers
Shane

Taking a break…

There won’t be much post love for a while.

Australian’s IMHO are generally backwards and arent willing to look at anything else than which they have been told are the universal truths, read;

Coles/Woolworths
Shell/BP
Liberal/Labor
Holden/Ford

And the list goes on.

Out here in the sticks the ignorance is amplified so a break from poking the wasp nest is the best option.

See you on the flip side y’all.

S